Thursday, December 31, 2015

ROBBLOG #592

 
I never make resolutions. They're so 60's.
 
I do try to tweak myself a bit as I move throughout a new year but by the time a new year turns into an old year, I would hazard a guess that I am right back where I started from a year ago.
What do I hope for in the future? 
I hope for peace in this world.
Who doesn't?
 
I would hope to win a few million dollars.
Who doesn't.
 
One thing that is certain- this new year and the state of our world offers no guarantees.
Next time I am in Paris, it will be hard not to keep looking behind me and at the faces that pass by me as I walk along the Champs d' Elysee.
 
I would like to keep my health right where it is thank you very much. I would like to continue Bike Riding, Walking, Eating, and enjoying life as I do now- even though it appears I will be turning 65 this July and no, I don't know how that happened!!
One day I am 56 and wham, the next I am in my 65th year.
 
I have been technically retired for a few years and poorer for it. Thank goodness my husband is still working and brings home the doe ray mei to keep us flush with funds- for now.
 
For now?
Well, I am hoping he will retire- maybe this year. Then we can plan our futures through to our last breath on earth.
Fuck that sounds depressing but it's coming sooner rather than later. By that I mean I don't believe I'll be living for another 65 years unless scientists develop a new pill that lets us live as long as Moses and Methuselah.
 
 
Methuselah's wife's name was "Edna".
I am surprized he lived that long. He had a couple of kids and four grandchildren. Seems like he lived a regular life.
Didn't both he and Moses live to be 900, 1000 years old?
Mind you, they didn't have the annual milk calendar pinned to the office wall in their humble houses.
Maybe their years were only 2 months along. That would certainly account for their  reported longevity.
It couldn't have been their health care system. It was non-existent.
 
So here I am along for the ride just like the rest of you. I'm living through the year hoping for the best that life can bring and trying to remember that the last Thursday of the month is Senior's Day at Global Pet Foods and the week before at Rexall.
 
Some of us win at the game of LIFE.
Some of us lose.
 
We all try hard.
 

Friday, December 25, 2015

RobBlog #591

 
Twelve Holiday Wishes
 
 
 
On the first day of the Holidays my one true wish would be:
a lotto win for little old me
 
On the second day of the Holidays my another wish would be 2 million dollars-
from the lotto win for little old me.
 
On the third day of the Holidays another wish would be:
3 French Butlers,
Two Million dollars-
From the lotto wish for little old me.
 
On the fourth day of the Holidays another wish would be:
Four German Bratwurst,
3 French Butlers,
Two Million dollars-
From the lotto wish for little old me.
 
On the fifth day of the Holidays another wish would be:
Five ruby roses,
Four German Bratwurst,
3 French Butlers,
Two Million dollars-
From the lotto wish for little old me.
 
On the sixth day of the Holidays another wish would be:
6 days of sunshine,
Five ruby roses,
Four German Bratwurst,
3 French Butlers,
Two Million dollars-
From the lotto wish for little old me.
 
 
 
On the seventh say of the Holidays another wish would be:
Seven Hawaiian Vacations,
6 days of sunshine,
Five ruby roses,
Four German Bratwurst,
3 French Butlers,
Two Million dollars-
From the lotto wish for little old me.
 
On the eighth day of the Holidays another wish would be:
A homestead in the country,
Seven Hawaiian Vacations,
6 days of sunshine,
Five ruby roses,
Four German Bratwurst,
3 French Butlers,
Two Million dollars-
From the lotto wish for little old me.
 
On the ninth day of the Holidays another wish would be:
Nine Botox treatments,
Peace for every country,
Seven Hawaiian Vacations,
6 days of sunshine,
Five ruby roses,
Four German Bratwurst,
3 French Butlers,
Two Million dollars-
From the lotto wish for little old me.
 
On the tenth day of the Holidays another wish would be:
No bigots in the world,
Nine Botox treatments,
Peace for every country,
Seven Hawaiian Vacations,
6 days of sunshine,
Five ruby roses,
Four German Bratwurst,
3 French Butlers,
Two Million dollars-
From the lotto wish for little old me.
 
On the Eleventh day of the Holidays another wish would be:
Feeding all the hungry,
No bigots in the world,
Nine Botox treatments,
Peace for every country,
Seven Hawaiian Vacations,
6 days of sunshine,
Five ruby roses,
Four German Bratwurst,
3 French Butlers,
Two Million dollars-
From the lotto wish for little old me.
 
 
On the Twelfth day of the Holidays my final wish would be:
For all my wishes to come true.
 
 

Saturday, December 5, 2015

ROBBLOG #590

 
Here it is folks. A new conversation with God. I picked up the phone and called God to say hello in advance of the busy Holiday Season.
 
Me: ~ring~
 
Himself: Hello...
 
Me: Hello God. It's Rob!
 
Himself: Well, Well, Well...My stars! And they are MY stars Rob. A little Godly humour there. Good to hear from you. How are things and did you enjoy your trip across the pond to London?
 
Me: Things are great with me and how did you know I was in London?
 
Himself: Oh it's that Omnipresent thing Robbie.
 
Me: Right, you know all and see all. I keep forgetting.
 
Himself: Well it keeps me busy keeping an eye on your folks on my earth.
 
Me: I can imagine. First of all, I guess the big question on everyone's lips God- is why don't you do something about those ISIS folks. I mean they are creating havoc with their killing of innocent people. I mean they throw Gay men off buildings. Stone them to death if they survive to say nothing of the loss of life in Paris a few weeks ago...
 
Himself: Well, Rob. I get asked that a lot and there's no simple answer.
 
Me: What about 40 days ands nights of rain? That worked last time.
 
Himself: Did it? Did it really Rob? A lot of innocents lost their lives. It was a big price to pay to start over. Besides I want to come up with something original. I will say I am trying to push the powers that be in the right direction. I have to be careful though.
 
Me: Why? You're the Father Almighty?
 
Himself: Well, yes with some folks on earth and Klindon 5 but not everyone subscribes to me and my ways.
 
Me: Klindon 5?
 
Himself: Oh yes. I am very, very popular on Klindon 5. Oh for pete's sake, you're probably not familiar with that planet- are you Rob?
 
Me: No. Not at all.
 
Himself: Earth people haven't found it yet but you will. It's right under your noses.
When you do it'll give you another option for a winter getaway besides my favourite place on earth- Hawaii.
 
Me: I love Hawaii too.
 
Himself: I know you do Rob ~smile~. It's a lot like Heaven you know.
 
Me: Really? That's good to know.
 
Himself: Oh yes. Warm and green like most of Heaven. Now listen about those ISIS folks. The time will come when they are put in their place. It won't be easy and it won't be without some of you coming up to me earlier than you should but it will come to pass.
 
Me: Well, that's good to know- I guess.
 
Himself: Trust me Rob. I do look out for you all even though sometimes it may seem I am not around or don't care. As a matter of fact I have my Son working on a couple of things now. The problem is he'd rather be at the beach playing volleyball than doing my work. Kids, eh?
 
Me: Yah. Kids. So listen are you getting excited about the Christmas Season?
 
Himself: Oh yes indeedy do. I love Chistmas! Always have...well for at least the last couple of thousand years or so. Before that December was just another month but being a bit of a Drama Queen...
 
Me: Drama Queen? I am surprized to hear you say that?
 
Himself: You shouldn't be ~laughs~. I am one of the original Queens here in heaven. I mean really Rob, I wear a shift 365 days a year and I wear it well I must say and I love Drama so when I wanted to have a kid I had to do it in a big, big way.
 
Me: Well I must tell you God that the Christmas Story with the Manger and stuff is pretty terrific.
 
Himself: Thanks!
 
Me: Can't the same for Easter though. I mean that's a barbaric story. I don't believe that was a good choice- if you don't mind me saying so.
 
Himself: No, not at all. It's not for everyone's taste. If I could, I'd redo it but too late for that now. The books out there.
 
 
 
Me: So do you decorate and shop for Christmas in Heaven?
 
Himself: Oh Jesus Rob! Yes. Jesus is still just a kid at Christmas. His Mother Mary- The Queen of Heaven and his Dad- Joseph, still make a big deal out of the Holiday Season. Oh, by the way. Speaking of Dad, I was talking to yours the other day...
 
Me: My Dad?
 
Himself: Yes. Sometimes we go fishing together on Lake Cloud. He's a great fisherman.
 
Me: Yes, he always was...
 
Himself: He sends his love by the way..Rob. Rob? Are you still there.
 
~pause~
 
Me: ~sigh~ Umm. Yes. Yes of course. I am still here...
 
Himself: Never gets easier- does it? Loss of a loved one I mean.
 
Me: No. It never does.
 
Himself: Wish I could come up with something besides death. It is on my list of things to do. Anyway, we are all ramped up for Christmas. Hey Rob, I have a solo this year at the Christmas Eve service at St. Me's Church.
 
Me: St. Me's?
 
Himself: Well it's the best I could come up with. I get to sing O Holy Night. It's a personal Favourite.
 
Me: I'll bet.
 
Himself: Well look Rob, I have to go decorate a tree over at Mary and Joseph's. It's kind of a yearly family thing. I put on the lights and Jeez adds the balls. Mary does the garland and Joseph makes the drinks. Hah Hah!
 
Me: Sounds like fun!
 
Himself: It is! Have a great Christmas Rob and we'll talk again soon. Merry Christmas.
 
Me: Same to you God. Bye for now and Happy Holidays!