Wednesday, March 11, 2015


Time for another brief visit with the "Big Guy" upstairs...

Me: Gee, it's been a while God. How have you been?

God: Oh, pretty good Rob. Thanks for asking and it has been a while I must say. Didn't you have a wee talk with my son a while ago?

Me: Yes. It was fun. Quite the kid you've got there.

God: Yes and they grow up fast. You have kids Rob?

Me: No but I thought you'd know that being omnipresent and all.

God: You would think so, eh? It's just hard to keep on top of things and of course, I'm not as young as I used to be. Some days I can't remember a person's name for the life of me.

Me: Oh, I am the same way.Getting older is the pits!

God: Yes Rob, but just look at the reward when life is all done. Oh by the way, your "Earth Mother" says hi. My secretary just passed me a note from her.

Me: Really? How's she doing.

God: Well now Rob, she's fitting in quite well. Almost a full year now but between you and me, she can be stubborn even here in the afterlife.

Me: Really...

God: Oh she's no trouble. She reads a lot and watches her TV.

Me: She always was a reader. So, you have TV in Heaven?

God: Oh yes. All the best channels. Satellite you know.

Me: Of course.

God: I have to confess Rob, we don't pay for the signal.

Me: No?

God: Being God has some advantages. The Angels are great when it comes to technical stuff and somehow they managed to shoot our satellite dish at the one's circling earth and well- Volia! Lisa LaFlamme every night at eleven- central Heaven Time.

Me: So anything else new you'd like to mention?

God: Things are good here. Gardens look amazing. Lots of new Condos being constructed. Yes, Heaven's a busier place these days what with all the killing in the world.

Me: About that. Every thought of coming down and putting an end to it?

God: Oh Rob. Gosh, I wish I could but there'll always be assholes in the world. You folks have to learn how to deal with it. You've made a lot of mistakes over the centuries but I give you hope- and Love.

Me: Thanks for that. Any plans for the future.

God: Yes. I am planning a trip to Molar. That's my vacation planet a few million light years from Heaven. Nice place. Lots of Palm Trees and an ocean. I go there to relax- get away from the phones- and my e-mail. Hey! Did you see Rob I started following you on Twitter?

Me: Yes and I was gobsmacked.

God: Better than being God-Smacked which I am thinking of doing  to all those ISIS folks. I'm afraid they're heading in the wrong direction. I had a meeting last week with their God and we're trying to come up with something, so we'll see.

Me: That would be great. Look God, I have to run. Chiropractor appointment.

God: Yes, I know.

Me: Oh...

God: It's the know all and see all thing.

Me: Right. well nice chatting with you and we'll do it again soon.

God: You bet. All the best Rob.