Tuesday, April 30, 2013


My Hubbie and I have joined the TIE Club.
No, we don’t get a new tie every month for two years. It’s a club for ~gulp~ seniors.
Seniors you say?
Yes, these days 55+ is Senior territory.
Back in January- when our Producer Andrea Lee-Burnet was looking for rehearsal space for our current Garage Door Players Show “Sadie Flynn Come to Big Oak, she discovered the TIE Club.
TIE stands for The Intelligent Elders. The club is centrally located in Downtown Orillia and is a bright, clean modern facility that charges us minimum rates for use of their space.
As rehearsals moved on, our attention was drawn to the activities at the centre including $5 lunches every other Tuesday.
That’s right.
5 Bucks.
At our first luncheon, we enjoyed Baked Spaghetti, Salad, Tea and Coffee with Hot Apple Pie topped with a generous scoop of vanilla ice cream for dessert.
I don’t know how they do it.
They just do.
Prices are a definite rollback to the 1940’s and 50’s.
As we got talking to those in charge- Judy and Don, we discovered that membership was available for only 10 dollars for a year.
Four cast members joined at the next rehearsal and that’s why we are members of TIE.
I don’t know how involved we’ll get but we are at least intending to be at the 5 dollar lunches.
They’ve also asked the Players to perform a Christmas Show.
We said yes!
I must admi,tI do feel a bit out of place there. Tom and I are proud of our 28 years together but we were beaten by one couple at 60 years and another just at the tip of 50. They were friendly folks yet some a bit timid. I supposed they wondered if these newcomers were going to come in and take their club away?
No way!
We appreciate the space and we are using it with respect and much gratitude.
A couple of months back I was tempting Tom with photos of South Florida homes in gated parks where prices started at 10 thousand dollars for a modular home with 2 bedrooms and two baths. The communities were all 55+.
He says to me “I don’t want to live in a park with a bunch of old folks!”
I pause and said- “Hunnie, I’m 62 this summer!”
He looked stunned for a moment then smiled.
Reality can be a bitch.

Saturday, April 20, 2013



On Bleeker Street with Blanche and Jane
The Gals were in Paris for a month but now they’re back on Bleeker Street refined and bi-lingual- well almost. Let’s see what happy Hi-Jinks Blanche and Jane find themselves in this time…
Blanche: Bonjour Ma Cherie. Sa Va bien? 
Jane: ~puff~drag~puff~ What the *&^% is that supposed to mean? Have you been drinking? 
Blanche: Oh Jane Dear ~hah, hah~ did you learn nothing in the City of Light? 
Jane: Sure I did! ~puff~ I learned if you’re a man you can piss anywhere on the street! 
Blanche: Now Jane. You know very well no man pee’d on the street in front of us! 
Jane: Yah but...How ‘bout behind us!! ~puff~cackle~puff~ 
Blanche: Jane! That man was drunk and he had no idea what he was doing! 
Jane: He certainly did Blanche. He pulled out his thingy and let loose on that shop fenetre! Hee! 
Blanche: …and you think that’s remarkably hilarious- do you? 
Jane: Ho. Hee-Hee. Ho! ~drag~puff~ Mais Qui!! 
Blanche: Well it seems you got something out of the trip after all. That’s a marvellous accent. 
Jane: Yah! I picked it up from a sailor in the 19th Arrondissement! Now that was a French Kiss! 
Blanche: Jane! Your tongue will dry up and fall off one of these days with talk like that! 
Jane: Hah Hah! Maybe so but I have a great Parisian memory all the same. Hey! 
Blanche: Yes Jane Dear? 
Jane: Let’s go down to that Frenchie Restaurant on 5th Street. Maybe I’ll get me another sailor. 
Blanche: All you’ll get is a dose of the “you know what’s” if you don’t change your ways! 
Jane: ~puff~ puff~ Party-Pooper! Now get your “wheels” in gear . I’ll call a cab! 
Blanche: Oh Jane. If only I wasn’t in this stupid wheelchair! 
Jane: But ya are Blanche! But. You. Are!! ~puff~


Monday, April 15, 2013


It’s the Time of the Season.
The Trudeau season.
Image 1 of 2
Justin Trudeau

It’s a new beginning.
A time to start fresh.
A time to reap.
A time to sow.
A time for fairness.
For love.
A time for more than Chinese Panda Bears and pandering.
A time to easy back on fuelling the machines of war-
Guns, fighter jets and more.
The weeping is through.
Let’s gently boot Mr. Harper from Parliament Hill once and for all- along with his right-wing, Conservative, labour busting cronies.
Let’s thank him for his attempt at Canadianism but some just can’t get it right.
Their Canada is a Canada of the rich not a Canada for one and all.
Their Canada is for what they believe to be “normal” Canadians.
Ask Bruce Stanton what he believes is “normal” and fair.
It certainly isn’t rights for transsexuals.
He voted no for trans people as he did for Gay Marriage when fellow Tories opened that Pandora’s box once again- even though it was the law of the land, just to see if a crack of light was shining through.
Thank goodness it wasn’t.
Ding Dong the right is crumbling and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Still some time to go before another federal contest.
Maybe greater things will come to be.
Maybe the opposition parties will wake up and join together.
One huge, colossal party working for the benefit of the individual.
For Canadians, keeping our Canada Strong and Free.
It could happen once again.
Let’s not put all our ducks in a row just yet but rather think, live and breathe
good thoughts.
The road to the future can be golden.
Our gleaming light is Justin Trudeau.
It’s the best we have now since Jack has gone to greater things in the next plane of our existence.
The right already is attacking with American Style ads.
Could we have expected anything less from them?
The Stars and Stripes would be flapping briskly in the wind at the top of the Peace Tower if we gave them a rope- long enough.
When will Canadians wake up and dispel their damning unfairness.
The crassness.
The un-Canadianness.
The libel encased in their broadcast fodder.
People…you are better than this.
Did you hear?
You are better than this and yet we forgive you for your narrow views and unwelcoming texture.
Take heart fellow Canadians.
A new dawn is near.
It’s time. It’s season. It’s reality.
It’s right there on the horizon waiting for each and every one of us.

Monday, April 8, 2013


Just when we thought our main worry was the Conservatives and the religious right, along comes sink holes. 

These huge, gaping holes that possibly lead to the underworld are gobbling up real estate faster than RBC is gobbling up foreign workers only to throw Canadian workers out onto the street- their own personal sink hole. 

Cars, houses and towering buildings are not immune. These holes go down deep. The Baptists are worried that the end of the world is nigh. I am sure they’ll find something somewhere that will link sink holes to the Devil. Perhaps in the Bible. These verses may help: 

“And thou shalt tumble and fall through and into the bowels of the earth and be consumed by the devil and his angels” Leviathon 2:14 


“…and the Lord looketh down upon Sultania and saw that the people did carouse and defy the Lord God Almighty both day and night. And the Lord was saddened and caused a hole of the greatest sink to devour those who didst laugh and whole-heartedly ignore his commandments. The next day the Lord rested with a cup overflowing with Maxwell of the House of Neandrethal saying to his flock- this that I doest, I doest well and would doest once againeth if my flock fucketh upeth and ignoreth me- the great and powerful Oz…I mean God.” Dueontome 5:12 

“And it was so… and so sink holes came and went and caused huge gaping recesses in both the earth and God’s heart- who always kept man’s heart- and testicles, close to his.” Dueontome 5:13 

This sinkhole  in downtown Guatemala City swallowed a a three-storey building in 2010.

So, sink holes are here to stay. Shale rock under the surface  allows water to flow through and cause earth to move away and form holes of darkness. These sink holes happen in many places- even in Downtown Orillia in front of coffee shops and haircutting places. 

What can we do to prevent them you ask?
Not much. If there’s a sink hole under your house- you’re sunk.
If you’re lucky enough to know this ahead of time, sell now and remember buyer beware.
Just get your dough first. 

“.. and so it went and Saul of Tarzaneth didst see the hole of sink in his night sweats and straightforth picketh up his clothing from his bedchamber and butter churn from his shed and wine flask- fashioned from the entrails of his neighbour’s goat, from his shelf and didst forthrightly depart from his home. And it came to pass he spent days wandering lost in the parking lot at Target, hoping to find the place wherein he parketh his donkey cart .” Exxon 2:17

** A D V E R T I S E M E N T**