No matter how old you are or how smart you think you are there is always room to learn a life lesson or make an observation.
Let me share a few I have learned or observed lately.
I feel like I was adopted. I know it’s not the case because I look down at my hands and I see my Dad’s hands. Sometimes my movements reflect my Dad too. Still, I feel so removed from family that I believe that being adopted would be easier. It would explain the “difference” I feel and the distance that is reality.
Saying “I love you” is just 3 small words but at times it takes more effort to say them than climbing a tall mountain. It shouldn’t but it does. Sometimes we say the words too late in life when they should be said as easily and softly and naturally as a warm breeze caressing one’s cheek.
There are times when you should leave well enough alone. I decided to wipe the dust and grime off the inside of our gas fireplace in the family room. When I had turned it on this season, the smell of hot dust made me feel ill. So, I took off the top and wiped it down with a wet cloth. I guess I pulled on a safety wire by mistake. I wasn’t sure at first. I thought that maybe the one/off switch had just worn out and it was all happenchance- but no. I had pulled a wire that was a safety feature that strops gas flowing in the case where there’s a problem with the fireplace. It only cost 90 bucks to have our serviceman come and re-insert the pin and flick a switch. Cripes!
I have to constantly remind myself that some people just pass through your life and are not meant to stay. You may try to re-kindle the friendship again but old feelings arise. Not everything can be swept under the living room rug. A year ago someone asked me- told me actually- “Why does everything have to be Gay with you. Why can’t you be normal?” This from a friend? Same friend has a Mother who took it upon herself to send me a little e-mail that spelled out the differences between a Liberal and Conservative. Some of the points were hurtful- especially the Gay references. Typical for a Conservative. They wear blinders you know. Well...you won’t know if you are one- especially a far-right leaning one. Your brain is just not wired to see it. All you have to do is look at Toronto’s Mayor and our Prime Minister. Both “prime” examples. Of course, again, you can only see clearly if you are NOT a full-blown Conservative.
You have to learn to look after yourself. Make yourself number one in health and happiness. It sounds self-centred and it can really piss people off but it’s really all about keeping your sanity and your stress manageable. Live life to its fullest. A hard rule to follow, I know. Just do the best you can. You have to work on this daily and tell yourself it’s OK. It’s OK to look after yourself. Who else is going to?
In this past year I have learned that after 60, the years begin to close in quite rapidly. Weeks and months fly by. Then, before you know it- another year. You can’t stop them so you have to slow down and savour as many of the minutes and moments that you can. Writing this blog is good for me. It keeps all this stuff out of “up here” and puts it “down here”. You may not like or agree with everything I say here- and you’re not meant to, however, it is my blog and it’s your choice to either read it or pass it by. About a hundred people choose to read it most days of the week. I would still write it if only 2 or 3 read it. It’s mine. An open diary really. I don’t lock it away under my mattress or in a drawer somewhere. I give you permission to read it.
Long-term guarantees don’t hold as much weight as they once did. For instance someone coming to put on a new roof or build a new verandah on our 122 year old house may say- “If I build a new verandah for you, it ought to last you 40 years!”
“Oh really? So I will be able to sit and enjoy a sturdy verandah when I’m 100 years old?”
How gratifying. It’s really just doing things for the last time on this earthly plane.
It always amazes me that many people are going through the exact same things in life that I am. Bring up a certain situation that is baffling and someone usually says- “I feel the same way. I’m going through that too.” Maybe it’s an Aunt or Cousin but it’s reflective of what I am going through. Huh. Comforting to know it’s not just a one-off. Similar situations exist elsewhere in the world with friends or people I know.
There you have it. A few disjointed tidbits I share with you for a life lesson.
There are more and I’ll share them soon.